Intercessory Prayer

Ok, so it's intercessory prayer that we've been discussing for a few months now. That's really where my idea of God has had the biggest challenge. On one hand I have 2,000 years (and more) of tradition that teaches ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find. Sounds great. But the reality is that I asked and I didn't receive. In fact I was abandoned. At least outwardly.
So what's the deal? I've said before that now there can only be three conclusions: God isn't there at all, God isn't listening, God doesn't care. Of the last, I suppose 'care' is the wrong word. I'm not saying God isn't concerned with my supplications, but I'm simply stating that they do not have a direct effect on what he chooses to implement (if he's implementing anything).
So that's the dilemma. Everything we've been taught versus what we've experienced.
Seems pretty clear cut to me. What we've been taught is wrong...Or is it?
Perhaps the truth lies in the teaching but we just don't quite understand the lesson completely. Although I have my issues recently with using words directly from the Bible and other holy texts because their validity is extremely questionable, I look to the New Testament and the words of Jesus (who else would know better?) to find that the man himself is a practitioner of intercessory prayer. And guess what...What he prays for doesn't happen either. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane praying to the point of bloodshed, pleads with God for another way besides his crucifixion. But the important part of this prayer comes at the end. Thy will be done, not my own is what he says. And there in lies the truth. Intercessory prayer isn't a guarantee that what we want to occur will. We are not directing God. Nor do I think he is really directing us (that whole 'free will' thing, remember?). But giving a supplication to God with the understanding that God will impose his will is not futile.
C.S. Lewis gives a great example for why this is so. Imagine a friend of yours asks for a favor and then adds "if it's not too much trouble" to the end of the request. The request is completely changed by simply adding that phrase indicating that the choice is still yours. The favor may or may not be granted, but you are now aware of your friend's desire and can choose whether or not you will acquiesce.
The prayer at Gethsemane is not the only prayer that follows suit. One need not look further than the Lord's Prayer to find "thy will be done." This supposed 'model prayer' for Christians is based on the same concept. Give us this day our daily bread but only if it is your will.
It's a bit of a breakthrough for me. I'm done with the fist shaking. I'm done blaming. I'm done being angry.
Do I understand it? No. Am I still having trouble praying on my own? Yes.
Do I still break down in tears? Absolutely.
The pain isn't gone, and I don't think it ever will be.
But I'm building my house of cards. It will get knocked down again, I know.
But I must still build.